Annie The Last Titan Shifter
by BellatrixLestrangey
Summary: A crack AU where everything is basically the same except Katara and Sokka find Annie in her crystal instead of Aang in his iceberg. Annie does everything in her power to convince everyone that she is not the Avatar. But much to her dismay she ends up journeying across the world with them anyways.


A frigid wind of frost carried itself over the sea as two siblings—a boy and a girl—rowed their way through a maze of ice and water. The cool air rustled her parka and made him shiver. But he had a task and he would get it done without question. "It's not getting away from me this time." He looked over at his sister with a cocky grin. "Watch and learn, Katara. This is how you catch a fish." He boasted.

Katara didn't seem interested in the slightest. She was more intent on watching a fish of her own. As it lazily and blissfully swam alongside their boat, she had deduced that this time she would put her waterbending to good use. She gave her wrist as graceful flick and a twirl, and with some strained effort she had captured the fish. Beaming from ear to ear she called, "Sokka, look at this, look what I did!"

He hushed her and reminded her that fishing takes patience and quietness. He watched his fish swim in circles. He would catch it that time. "Mmmm ... I can already smell it cooking."

Katara struggled to keep hold of the water, it hovered just over her head and she tried to carefully bring it down. She huffed with the effort and finally musters, "but I already have one!" In her attempt to talk and bend at the same time, the ball of water came to rest over Sokka's head. But as it was, he still had his mind and eye on his fish. So when he finally got around to making a jab at the fish, he successfully penetrated the bubble leaving his parka soaked through and through. "Sokka!" Katara yelled as her catch flopped free and—in a elegant arc—back in the ocean.

Sokka balled his fists as the discomforts of drenched underpants started to set in, "Why is it that every time you play with magic water, I get soaked?"

"It's not 'magic', it's waterbending! And it's—"

Sokka cut her off. "Yeah, yeah, 'an ancient art unique to our culture', blah, blah, blah. Look, I'm just saying, that if I had weird powers, I'd keep my weirdness to myself." He squeezed his hair and let drips of water fall to the floor of their boat.

Katara crossed her arms, finally having enough of her brother's rambling. "You're calling me weird?" She didn't quite know how to finish, but luckily for her Sokka had given her a free insult. "I'm not the one who makes muscles at myself every time I see my reflection in the water!" Before he could respond the current took hold of their boat tugging it towards a heap of particularly sharp ice formations. "Watch out! Go left! Go left!" In hast, he steered to the right, successfully catching their canoe on one of the other icebergs. They were helpless to get it free. The pair abandoned ship, lest they themselves have been crushed. "You call that left?" Katara exclaimed.

"Well, maybe you should have waterbended us out of there, ever think of that?" He scowled, flailing his arms in the poorest imitation of waterbending that Katara had ever seen.

"Oh so it's all me again?" She asked. "I'm _always_ the one who messes everything up." She had her face set in a dead pout."

"You know what, yeah. I should have left you at home." Sokka grumbled, "you can always count on the girl to mess things up."

"You are the most sexist, immature, nut brained." She paused for a moment to come up with a good follow up. When none came, she settled for an aggressive swooping motion and cut right into her next insult. "I'm embarrassed to be related to you!" As she threw her hand up in frustrated a stream of water—that she had yet to notice—sprang up with it. "Ever since mom died, I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier!" As her tone increased so did the force of her waterbending and the look of terror on Sokka's face. This only served to amp her up more.

Finally, Sokka managed to point behind him at the large cracking iceberg. But Katara still didn't let up. "I even wash all the clothes! Have you ever smelled your dirty socks? Let me tell you, not pleasant!"

He tried to calm her down, really, he did. But his best effort was wasted. "You know what? No! I'm done helping you Sokka." The iceberg shattered.

"Okay, you've just gone from weird to freakish." Sokka grumbled.

A confused Katara assessed the damage. "I can't do that…can I?"

"Oh you did." Sokka shrugged. "Congratulations."

Katara opened her mouth to speak when a few bubbles broke the surface of the water. From deep below, something large bobbed upward. They could just make out a figure beneath the ice. What kind of figure it was, they had yet to discover. And then it struck Katara, "There's someone trapped in that iceberg."

"That's one weird looking iceberg." Sokka muttered. "It looks more like a crystal to me."

"Who cares what it is, we have to get them out of there. And I think he is alive!" Katara frowned and despite protests from Sokka she surged forward with his club in hand.

"Katara, what are you going to do with that?"

"What do you think I'm going to do?" Before she had a chance to put her plan in action the crystal shattered on its own accord. Katara realized that whoever was inside, had cracked the ice themselves, but for some reason couldn't be bothered to emerge.

"He's totally free now, why is he still in there?" Sokka asked.

"Maybe he's shy." Katara shrugged. She slowly made her way over to the crystal. "Hey, you can come out of there, we're not going to hurt you." She received no response.

"Is he…dead?" Sokka asked. Katara placed a hand on the surface of the crystal, intent on climbing it. "Whoa, wait, I didn't say that you should go check." But it was too late, Katara had already reached the opening.

Instead of the young boy she was expecting, what Katara gazed upon was a girl a few years older than she. And this girl had hair. Blonde hair. For some reason, this bothered Katara, she was expecting her new companion to be bald. That same reason—whatever it was—was also why she was disturbed that this girl didn't have arrows. She lifted the girl's hand, no arrows on the palms either. Katara was oddly befuddled.

"Hey." She whispered. "You can come out of the iceberg now. You're free."

"Five more minutes." The girl mumbled without stirring or even opening her eyes.

"But…" Katara murmured. "You're free now."

"Just five more minutes." The girl grumbled again, this time more agitated.

"But you've already been sleeping for a long time."

The girl sits herself up and shoots Katara with the most wicked death glare. The waterbender couldn't quite describe what happened next, but there was a flash of light and the crystal shattered completely. Something obscenely large had emerged from it, but before Katara could asses what it was, the weight of the thing had sent it crashing beneath the waves.

.oOo.

The same frosty breeze that rustled Katara's parka was toying with the hair of another boy. He grips the banister of his own ship—a much sturdier, military grade vessel—with a foreign sense of joy. "Finally! Uncle, do you know what this means?"

The man doesn't even so much as glance up. Instead he rubbed his chin and moved another game piece, "That I won't get to finish my game?"

"Yes, exactly." The teen stops pacing. "Wait, what? No. Well, yes, but that's not what I mean. What I mean is, that my search is about to come to an end."

This elicited a long drawn out sigh from the older man. He has been down this road before and he knew that it was going to end just the same way; with his tea being interrupted and for nothing but a firework display off in the distance.

The boy wildly gestured in the direction of the flash. "That light came from an incredibly powerful source, it has to be him!"

"That is exactly what you said the last time, Prince Zuko. And last time it lead us to a wild firebender trying to invent something called 'vaping'. Everyone got it, he vaped." He looked down at his game piece, this one depicted the wings of freedom. "Hmm…I don't know how this one got here." He chucked it over the side of the boat and picked up one with the symbol for airbending. "Anyways, I just don't want you to get too excited over nothing." To his pleasure and surprise, he had time to finish his game. "Please, sit. Why don't you enjoy a cup of calming Jasmine tea? We can start a new game."

Zuko's teenage angst finally gets the best of him and he explodes, "I don't need any calming tea! I need to capture the Avatar! Captain, follow that light!" He turned away from his uncle. "Swigity swoogity, I'm comin' for that Avatar booty."

.oOo.

"What… _was_ that?" Sokka asked as he peered into the water. Secretly he was thankful that whatever it was hadn't emerged. Clearly, they had just dodged a bullet, the kind of bullet that turn him into an unwilling protagonist.

"Sokka, get over here and help me. Help _us_." Katara called and just like that, his relive vanished.

He saw a hand grip what remained of their iceberg. Katara helped pull its owner to the surface. Standing before him was probably the shortest girl he'd ever seen. He had no clue what to make of her outfit. He had never seen anything like it; some kind of brown coat over a hoodie covered in belts and straps. She slowly raises to her full height, relatively speaking. Apparently, the effort had taken a lot out of her because immediately after standing up she collapses again, right into Katara's arms with her head pressed up against the waterbender's chest.

"Das gay." Sokka whispers. As if is remark wasn't vexing enough, he begins to jab at the unconscious woman's head with the dull end of his spear.

"Sokka, stop it!" Katara swats the spear away. With care she propped the girl against the nearest and largest wall of ice she can find. It took a few moments but the girl finally opened her eyes. They were the bluest eyes Katara had ever seen. Katara shook her head wondering where that thought had come from, she is from the Water Tribe, she has seen much bluer eyes. Regardless, there was something about this girl's eyes that had her intrigued.

The girl's mouth opened. At first Katara thinks that she is just panting. She realized that the girl was actually trying to say something to her and she can just make out the words. Her voice is weak, but Katara can now clearly make out, "I need to ask you something—" Her voice trails off.

"What is it, tell me."

"Please." The stranger hesitates, "come closer."

"What is it?" Katara repeated.

The girl was very quiet for a moment, and then she mumbled, "why is that guy so hideous?" She pointed at Sokka. "He looks like a fucking shoe."

"Excuse me!" Sokka lumbered over with his hands clenched into fists.

"It's to match his personality… I-I guess." Katara replied.

The girl stood herself up right once again. That time she seemed to have her barring. "What's going on here anyways? What is this place?"

"You tell us." Sokka demanded, pointing at the ice that the girl had previously broken out of and then broken through. "How did you get in the ice? And why aren't you frozen?" He jabbed her with the spear again, earning himself a swift kick in the shin.

"I was about to get interrogated by the government so I decided to take a nap instead." She shrugged. "I wasn't finished with that nap, by the way." She looked pointedly at Katara.

Both siblings expected her to continue but they were met with silence and the sound of the wind picking up.

"Don't you want to know anything about us?" Sokka asked. "Like where we live?"

The girl shrugged and after some more prodding from Sokka rolled her eyes and asked, "do you guys live around here?"

"Acually, y—"

Sokka brandished his spear again and jabbed it, pointy end up, towards the girl. "Don't answer that, Katara! Did you see that crazy bolt of light? She was probably trying to signal turn us in to the Fire Nation."

Once again Katara pushed the spear aside. "Oh right, I'm sure he's a spy for the Fire Navy. You can tell by that evil look in his eye."

Sokka observed the girl's expression. Passive. Blank. Uncaring. It was then that he realized she didn't give a fuck. Not the flying kind and not the grounded kind. Sokka shivered as the wind picked up even more.

"The dumbass is my brother, Sokka. What's your name?"

"I'm A… a-a-a-Achoo!" Upon sneezing, she accidently triggered the gas on her 3D maneuvering gear. That slight trigger was powerful enough to send her some feet into the air. She hadn't even had time to extend the grappling hook to catch herself. But regardless, she landed in a sturdy stance. "I'm Annie." She sniffled, her gaze never leaving the ground, and hugged her jacket closer to her body.

"You just sneezed and flew ten feet in the air!" Sokka threw his hands up.

Annie looked up. "I don't think it was _that_ high."

"You're an airbender!" Katara exclaimed.

"I'm a what?"

"An airbender." Katara repeats. "That's how you were able to sneeze yourself that high."

"Wh-what?" Annie sputters. "No, my sneeze didn't do that, it was my—"

But Sokka wasn't listening he was much too busy leaping to his own conclusions. "Giant light beams, Olympic level sneezes, airbenders, I think I drank the wrong water today. I'm going home to where stuff makes sense." He stormed off, only realizing that he was stranded when he reached the edge of the iceberg.

"How are we going to get home?" Sokka winced.

The siblings looked hopefully at Annie. She cocked her head and shrugged. Taking their dismal situation as her cue to nap again, Annie found the coziest looking pile of dirt and laid herself down.

"We're going to freeze to death and it's all your fault." Sokka accused.

"My fault, you're the one who wouldn't look at my fish. The one that I worked hard to catch!"

Something in their tones led Annie to believe that help wouldn't be coming anytime soon. "I suppose I can give you guys a ride home." She looked at her 3D maneuvering gear. She knew that the only way she wouldn't freeze to death would be to take one of them home. "It's probably going to take a while though."

"That would be great!" Katara smiled.

For some reason Annie smiled back. Katara turned around to debate with her brother over whether or not they should accept the ride home. When she turned back around, Annie was still smiling.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" Katara asked.

"Oh, I was smiling?" Annie returned the question. It had been such a long time since she had smiled, sometimes she forgets to stop. And just like that, with the embarrassment hanging thickly over her head, she remembered that, that is exactly why she stopped smiling in the first place.

At Annie's explanation, Katara smiles again.

Sokka smiles too. Iroh smiles. The sealions smile. Somewhere far in the distance Azula and Ozai smile. Everyone smiles. Except for Zuko. Zuko is not smiling.

.oOo.

Zuko—who is still not smiling—was standing at the helm of his warship, looking furiously at the water rushing beneath the boat. His honor was at stake and if he messed this up his honor would be like the water, quickly rushing passed him.

Iroh and his balls of steel came to approach the brooding teen, "I'm going to bed now." He yawned. "Yep, a man needs his rest." He paused, waiting for the suggestion to sink in. It never does, Zuko was still grumbling about honor. "Prince Zuko, I'm dropping hints like Skrillex drops the bass, go the fuck to sleep. Even if that was the Avatar and not another attempt to make the world's largest vape cloud, you won't find him. Your father, grandfather and great-grandfather all tried and failed. Our whole family failed. It isn't just you, we are a family of failures. Your dad only sent you away because he looks like a bigger failure when you're around, because—while you're still a failure like the rest of use—you're less of a failure than he is."

"What about Azula? She's not a failure." Zuko exploded. Literally. He exploded in rage, but he resurrected himself just in time to hear Iroh sigh.

Iroh pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to avoid the discussion. "Zuko, you know we're not supposed to mention her until the last episode."

"She's not a failure like the rest of us." Zuko muttered.

"Oh just you wait." Iroh replied.

"It doesn't matter!" Zuko screams into the night. "Because with the Avatar I have honor to capture. And I will capture it. The Avatar master of all four elements of escapism's hundred years in hiding are over." He declared.

.oOo.

They had to leave Sokka behind. Annie simply couldn't carry both siblings at once. And since Sokka was being a pain in the ass, they elected to leave him behind. Even he, with his great mistrust, elected to leave himself behind. With aid from her gear, Annie swiftly moved she and Katara from glacier to glacier. Katara looked completely lost in her own thoughts. Annie can't help but to be at least a little curious and, for once, started the conversation. "Water… you thinking about?

Ignoring Annie's clever pun, Katara answered, "Spiderman."

That reminded Annie of why she stopped talking to people. They fell into silence again.

"Oh, and also, I guess I was wondering, with you being an airbender and all, if you had any idea what happened to the Avatar?"

"What the hell is an Avatar? What's a Spiderman?" She decided afterward, to remind Katara (again), that she was not an airbender either.

"If you're not an airbender than how are you doing this?" Katara indicated to their ability to sail through the air.

"Oh, this is my 3D—" Distracted by the conversation she nearly slams right into a block of ice. She refused any conversation after that. She concentrated on getting them to the village safely. After the passage of a few hours they arrived.

"Now all you have to do is go get Sokka." Katara took a seat in the snow.

Annie blinked. She was safe, she no longer needed them. "Why would I risk myself to go get him. A frail maiden like me would probably get lost trying to get back to him anyways." Literally no one could tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

"But…" Katara started.

"To be honest, I don't even know how you knew your way home. Didn't you say that you got taken by a current that rushed the two of you, miles away from your original location?"

Katara hated it when people questioned the logic of things.

"Send a boat to fetch your brother." Annie shrugged. She looked at the sky, night was closing in. "I'm going to sleep."

"But you just woke up." Katara whispered to herself.

As Katara and a pack of Water Tribe folk set out to retrieve Sokka, Annie had a dream. She was with potato girl eating potatoes. But the potatoes were purple and had legs and screamed for help whenever she or Sasha brought them to her lips. Even in the haze of the dream, Annie realized that she didn't care. She ate things that screamed before. Sasha didn't seem to notice the terrified shrieks of the potatoes as she mercilessly tore them to shreds. Suddenly Sasha turned around and began yelling at Annie. "Why did you do it? Why did you tell instructor Shadis that I farted?" Annie looked down.

She was not Annie.

She was Mikasa.

Her scarf looked up at her and yelled, "Annie!"

"Annie! Annie are you okay, are you okay, Annie?!" It was Katara's voice.

Annie shot up in bed, tossing the covers to the floor. The last thing she ever wanted to do, was become Mikasa.

"It's okay." Katara reassured.

"It was okay…until you made that joke." Annie said.

"Well anyways, get dressed. Everyone's waiting to meet you."

Annie's eyes went wide.

People? Waiting? To meet her?

She snatched up the covers and hid beneath them. They all wanted to meet her, but she did not want to meet them. But Katara wouldn't let up. Eventually she grabbed her hoodie, tugged it over her head, and headed for the exit.

Before Katara herself left, she decided to look back at Annie, even though she had just told her to get changed and knew it was the rude thing to do. She gasped, surprised once more by the lack of arrows on Annie's arms, legs, and torso. Growing impatient, Katara pulls Annie out of the tent.

The crowd before Annie was small, but her desire to leave continued to grow as they stepped closer. Sokka, the annoying twat, was sitting outside gnawing on a drumstick while sharpening his boomerang.

"Annie, this is everyone our village." She motions to the small crowd. "All ten of us."

"That's it?" Annie asked. She was ready to say, 'my village has been attacked by creatures at least fifteen meters in height and we still have a bustling town, what's your excuse?' But decided better of it, they didn't need to know. Instead she just stood there, her longing to go back inside increasing.

Frankly, the villagers looked just as horrified to have her standing there as she was to be doing it. "Why are they all looking at me like that, did I accidently titan shift?" She asked.

An old lady emerged from the crowd. "Well, no one has seen an airbender in a hundred years. We thought they were extinct, until my granddaughter and grandson found you."

"I'm not an airbender. You see, I am able to fly by using my—"

"Shit!" Sokka yells as he lost hold of his boomerang, it flew out of his grip, nearly clobbering Annie on the head. Reacting quickly, she triggered her 3D maneuvering gear.

The crowed looked on in awe at her incredible display of airbending.

Changing the subject, Katara introduced Kanna to Annie.

"Call me Gran-Gran." Kanna greeted warmly.

Sokka stormed up to Annie and makes a grab for her 3D maneuvering gear. She leapt out of his reach.

"What is this, a weapon? You can't stab anything with this!" He remarked, a look of puzzlement crossing his face.

Delighted at the opportunity to finally explain it. She proudly said, "well, this is my 3D maneuvering gear, it isn't for stabbing. Not technically anyways. It's—" She realized with annoyance that no one is listening. Everyone was too busy watching a herd of penguins that decided to waddle by. But Annie was thankful for that, it drew attention away from her. She began to creep back towards the tent, when Katara's hand tugged at her wrist.

"Show them how you can fly!"

Annie sighed and decided to just humor them. _It's just like that time when Eren decided to fight you for slacking,_ she tried pep talking herself. With nothing sturdy enough to use her grappling hooks on, she dazzled them with a few agile flips and mid-air spins.

"She's flying!" Yelled one of the youngest village girls.

Annie did one more flip and landed purposely atop Sokka's sorry excuse for a watch tower. The pathetic structure crumbled and she shot him a smirk.

"My cabbages! I mean, watchtower!"

"That was amazing!" Katara ran up and hugged Annie, who cringed within her grasp.

Meanwhile Sokka made a mad dash to recover his watchtower, patting it to no avail. "Great. You're an airbender, Katara's a waterbender. Together you can just waste time all day long." He grumbled.

"Actually, I'm not an airbender. I have this thing called—" The remaining heap of snow collapsed from the watchtower, right on top of Annie. By the time she shovels it off of her, Sokka had already sulked away. "You're a waterbender?" She asked Katara instead. "What is a waterbender?"

Being so eager to act on her chance to finally learn waterbending…real waterbending, Katara ignored the second question. "Well, sort of. Not yet. I was hoping that, since you're the Avatar, you could teach me more of it."

"All right, no more playing. Come on, Katara, you have chores." Kanna interrupted She pulled Katara away from Annie. Frankly, she was growing concerned at her granddaughter's budding obsession with her.

Confirming Kanna's fear, Katara exclaimed, "I told you, she's the real thing Gran-Gran! I finally found a bender to teach me!"

In that moment, Kanna knew exactly how Iroh felt. "Katara, try not to put all your hopes in this girl."

"But he's special! I know she is, I can just tell that she's filled with much wisdom." Katara looked over at Annie. Having never actually been in snow that deep, she had gotten herself wedged in a particularly dense patch of snow. With both hands, she tugged on her leg in an attempt to free it. She succeeded in pulling her foot from her boot. The same force that freed her, had landed her on her ass. "I knew I should have stayed in my crystal." Katara heard her grumble.

"I swear, she was doing fine _before_ I tried convincing you that she's an airbending genius."

.oOo.

"No, you are impatient." Iroh slapped his palm against his forehead. "You have yet to master your basics. Drill it again!"

Zuko clenched his teeth in anger. He picked up his pencil and tried reworking the problem. "Please excuse my dear aunt Sally…" he muttered. Without warning he throws the pencil, lights the paper on fire, and brings his hands to his head. "This doesn't make any seeeeeeennnnce!" He yelled into the chilly afternoon air "The sages tell us that the Avatar is the last airbender. He must be over a hundred years old by now. He's had a century to master the four algorithms! I'll need more than basic algebra to defeat him. You will teach me the advanced calculus!"

"Zuko, you are becoming obsessed. You are letting your need to capture the Avatar blend in with your everyday life. You are learning math to…" Iroh paused, trying to find the reason. "Honestly I don't know why you are trying to learn math right now. This was the scene where you were supposed to practice your firebending."

"Oh." Zuko dropped his pencil that had suddenly been drawn back into the scene. "Right. Firebending, we should get to that, Uncle."

.oOo.

"Have you seen Annie? Gran-Gran said she disappeared over an hour ago." Katara was growing frantic.

"Katara, it has been like two minutes." Sokka rolled his eyes. "Now if you'd excuse me I have an army to train." He motioned to a heard of small children.

"Sokka they're children."

Emerging from the bathroom igloo, Annie remarked, "that's when I started training."

"Oh thank goodness, I've been looking for you everywhere!" Katara stated.

Annie cringed for the second time that day. This girl was getting too clingy and she was getting uncomfortable. She had to get out of there and back to Wall Rose.

"Katara, get him out of here! This lesson is for warriors only!"

Annie's ears perked up and her expression brightens. "I'm a warrior! I was chosen to be one of seven people to inherit the power of one of the founding titans."

Once again Sokka and Katara ignored her. Sokka is too busy trying to regain control of his child army and Katara is busy laughing at him. Somehow the pair always found a way to disregard her whenever tried giving useful information about her origins.

"What's wrong with you?! We don't have time for fun and games with the War going on!" Sokka shouted.

"What war? We're talking about the Marley Mid-East war right?" Annie frowned to herself, remembering that, that one had actually ended.

"You're kidding, right?" Sokka asked.

Annie gave him a baffled look. Her expression warmed at the sight of a penguin slaughtering over to a hillside. "Oh look, it's my solitude, better go catch that." Before either could react, Annie made a mad sprint in the direction of the hill. She would deal with the space-invading penguins.

.oOo.

Katara found Annie trying to interact with the penguins. Apparently she liked them much better than people.

"Annie?" Katara called, hoping not to startle her.

The call met her ears just as she was about to grab a penguin. Unfortunately the sound of Katara's voice had scared it off. So instead of hugging a penguin, Annie found herself face first in the snow. "This is why I can't be happy."

For some reason, Katara chucked at her apparent misery. "Hey, I'll help you catch a penguin if you teach me waterbending."

This time Annie's sarcasm was clear. "Oh yeah! Sure, you got a deal! Just one little problem I'm not a waterbender… or an airbender. Isn't there anyone else who can teach you?"

"Well, yes. There is this one guy, but apparently, I'm too clingy and I started to scare him or something. So he got a restraining order. Now I'm not allowed to be within fifteen feet of him…which is like half the size of our town. So he moved away. What I'm trying to say is, no. You're looking at the only waterbender in the whole South Pole."

"Wow, I would have never guessed." Annie muttered. "What about the North Pole? There's another Water Tribe up there, right? Maybe they have waterbenders who could teach you."

"It's possible, but we haven't had contact with our sister tribe in a long time. It's not exactly 'turn right at the second glacier'. It's on the other side of the world." Katara replied.

"But you forget, we all have the capability to steal a boat and I can personally steal one for you." Annie offered. At this point she was willing to do anything to get away from this crazed eskimo. If it meant freedom for her, Annie decided, "we're going to find you a master."

"That's ... I mean, I don't know. I've never left home before. I don't exactly like doing that."

"That's funny, I could have sworn I said the same thing this morning, but you made me go outside anyways." Annie pointed out. "So it's decided then, we're going to the north pole so you can be on the opposite side of the world as me."

Katara changes the subject again. "Hey look, a plot device." She pointed at a large cavernous looking metal warship of a clear Fire Nation make. Holding it in place is a huge, penetrating, thick, sexy, heap of ice.

"What is that?" Annie asked.

"I just told you." Katara replied. "It's a plot device. It's a Fire Nation navy ship and it was basically just a bad time for everyone."

Annie walked towards it.

"Annie, stop! We're not allowed to go near it! The ship could be booby-trapped!"

Annie sniffs, "pfft...weak."

"Excuse me!?" Katara stomped passed Annie and boarded the ship.

Annie came to join her.

"Great, now that we're here I can start with the exposition. "This ship has haunted my tribe since Gran-Gran was a little girl. It was part of the Fire Nation's first attacks."

"You guys keep talking about that but I don't think you actually know what you're talking about."

"Annie, how long were you in that iceberg?"

Annie shrugged. "I don't know how long I've been in that _crystal_. Its kinda hard to tell when you're in a coma. It's probably been a month or two though."

"A month? I think it was more like a hundred years!" Katara had to be exaggerating.

"Do I look like a crusty hundred year old woman to you?" She gave her lustrous blonde bangs a flick.

"Think about it. The War is a century old. You don't know about it because, somehow, you were in there the whole time! It's the only explanation." Katara declared as if she had just solved all of the world's mysteries.

"Yeah, I don't know about that. I think that somehow I have landed in some crazy parallel universe where people only wear blue and talk about elemental gymnastics more than they should." Annie laid her theory out.

"That's just crazy." Katara argued. "No, you're the Avatar and you've been stuck in an iceberg for 100 years."

"Two problems with that theory. For one thing, it was a crystal. A _crystal_. For seconds, if I'd been in an iceberg for years my body would probably be waterlogged and useless."

"You just don't want to face the truth." Katara accuesed.

"I just want to go back into my coma." Finally at her wits end, Annie kicked the wall of the boat, triggering a series of the aforementioned booby traps. As if exploding in her face wasn't enough, the ship sent a flare into the sky. It was a tattletale, just like Mikasa. Reluctantly, Annie scooped Katara up and propelled them to safety.

.oOo.

From a questionably close distance, Zuko peered through his telescope. "I found it!"

"Oh, quick hand it over." One of Zuko's soldiers requested eagerly.

Zuko ignored him. "Uncle, uncle, I found the last airbender." He just caught the look of disappointment on the soldier's face. "We were just trying to scope out dat ass, when I caught a glimpse of a very particular ass. The Avatar's ass!" He turned away from Iroh, looks at the soldier, and whispers, "for being so old, he sure has a nice ass." He looked through the telescope again. He can clearly make out where they are running to. "Uncle, I know where he's hiding too."

As Zuko looks in the direction of the Southern Water Tribe, Iroh wondered how his nephew didn't realize that he had seen two girls, not a girl and a balding monk. Iroh shook his head as the reason dawned upon him; Zuko had been too busy staring at dat ass. One of these days he was going to push his nephew overboard.


End file.
